Please don't go
by Miss.Clarissa.Salvatore.TVD
Summary: When Elena dies, Damon is devastated. He stays in his room and thinks about everyone who's made a difference in his life. Then he goes to visit Elena, thinking it would be best If he joined her. After all, everyone he cares about leaves him?
1. Chapter 1

One. Two. Three. Four.

I counted the times Elena breathed. Counted every last breath. she took her last breaths.

I held her face in my hands. "Lena? Elena, come on."

I moved a strand of hair away from her face and pulled the stake out of her chest. I sucked in a deep breath.

"Lena!" I yelled once more. "Lena!"

Her skin was chalky and gray with cracks in it. She looked at me, her big brown eyes filled with tears.

And then they froze. I could see her soul drifting out of her eyes.

But I was too in denial.

"Lena?" I picked some of the pieces of wood out of her chest. "LENA!"

I felt arms wrap around my waist and another pair around my arm, and another around the other arm.

I ignored them. "Elena?"

Her brown eyes were quickly turning a silver-black as they stared at me.

I laid a hand on her cheek. "Elena."

"Damon..." I vaguely recognized the voice as Caroline's.

"No. I have to stay till she wakes up. She's going to wake up."

I heard Caroline. And two other voices. And three. And mine.

But I couldn't hear myself think. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't doing.

What am I doing?

What am I thinking?

"Elena." I repeated.

Elena, Elena, Elena, My heart chanted.

My brain was on the same broken record.

I sat there for a moment, staring at her.

Her grey, chalky, cracked skin.

Her silvery eyes.

"Don't go." I managed to say.

I heard a sob, and another. Two girls.

And another, more manly sob.

"I love you, Lena." I stared at her.

Bye, Elena. , I thought.

In five seconds, I managed to throw up all the contents In my stomach till it hurt.

"Don't go." I croaked.


	2. Chapter 2

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember my father. I don't want to, but I do.

I remember him and how he always hated me.

_I watched as my dad, drunk and broken, stumbled into the living room._

_He probably missed mommy. Mommy died yesterday._

_"Father?" I called._

_He shrugged his blazer off and threw it onto the couch violently._

_I went into the living room. "Father?"_

_He stared at the alcohol in his hand, then threw his glass into the fireplace._

_He turned to me. "Damon, go check on your brother. He's been awfully quiet."_

_I shook my head. "Why are you mad?"_

_I hadn't known. I hadn't known my mother was dead._

_He stared at the fire. "Go to your room."_

_I walked over to him. "But-"_

_He slapped me in the face, the force making me hit the ground._

_Now my father had hit me many times._

_But this time I didn't know what to do. This was the first time._

_He never hit Stefan. _

_I scrambled to my feet and ran upstairs to my room and started crying. _

_I heard my dad's footsteps coming upstairs and hid under the covers. _

_I miss mommy too._

_He didn't go to my room, though. He got suitcases and packed._

_I panicked and ran downstairs while he was near the door._

_"No!" I yelled. "Please don't go!"_

I would write,

Thanks for teaching me.


	3. Chapter 3

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember my mother. She was beautiful. She was my idol during my childhood.

She was the only person who was nice to me.

"Mommy?" I asked. "What are you doing?"

_She laughed a light laugh, similar to Tinkerbell. Mother ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek._

_"I'm making dinner." She replied._

_"Can I help?" _

_She shrugged and handed me the big spoon. "Just stir the soup, Damon."_

_I nodded and began stirring the big pot of soup._

_An hour later, mother had finished cooking and I had thrown up. _

_I was in my room with her as she cooed over me, holding me close._

_"Shh, it's okay. Your father is going to get some remedies to help the pain."_

_I was all sweaty and in pain. _

_I sniffed. "Mommy?"_

_She hummed in response._

_"My stomach hurts." I whined._

_She sighed. "I know it does."_

_"I love you." I wiped away my tears._

_"I love you too, Damon." She said softly._

_I put a hand over her dress. "Why is your stomach so big?"_

_Mother giggled. "There's a baby there. Little Stefan."_

_I nodded, In awe. "Cool."_

_"It's dangerous, though. I might not be around anymore.." She trailed off. "Your father would stay with you though. And your new brother."_

_I frowned. "Please don't go."_

I didn't know my mom was going to die soon. I didn't know bad things happen to good people.

But I always loved her.

I would write,

Thanks for showing me what love is.


	4. Chapter 4

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember my brother. Not Stefan, the one who I fight with all the time.

No.

I remember little Stefan.

I remember being small, and running through the fields with my little brother.

_"Why can't you just give up, brother? You're never going to catch me!" I called out._

_Stefan sped up. My brother is too slow for a game of tag. _

_Stefan laughed. "Never!"_

_I looked back for a split second and he collided with me, making us both fall into the neighbor's garden._

_I looked up and saw Victoria and Veronica, the prettiest sisters in town._

_My face went red. "Miss Victoria. Miss Veronica."_

_Stefan got up right away. "Hi!"_

_I sighed, embarrassed. These girls were pretty and both my age. A brother seven years younger than me Is uncool._

_That day I had been so wrapped up in the pretty girls, I hadn't noticed my brother wandered off._

_He got hurt. And I wasn't watching over him like I was supposed to. And it was MY fault._

_I Entered my brother's room, which was set up like a hospital._

_I leaned over the bed. "Stefan?"_

_He looked up at me with innocent green eyes. He looked a little weak._

_"Are you okay?" I frowned. _

_"They have to give me stitches. They're Sowing up my knee."_

_I sighed. "I'm reallllyyy sorry. I was just not paying attention."_

_Stefan sniffed and nodded. "It's okay."_

_I held his hand while he got the stitches, our maid holding his other hand. _

_Stefan stayed in bed for the next two weeks._

_I stayed in there with him and we played cards, and painted pictures, and told stories._

_One afternoon I fell asleep in his bed. He was on the opposite side of me._

_"Goodnight, Damon!"_

_My eyes flickered to him, then I closed them again. Trying to seem cool, like I don't care._

_"I love you..." He whispered, sounding upset that I ignored him._

_I decided I'd give him the time of day. _

_" 'Night, Stefan."_

_I woke up much earlier than Stefan. The heart beat thing was really slow. Stefan's not doing to die. He can't leave me like mom._

_Please don't go._

I would write,

Thanks for being a good brother when I wasn't.


	5. Chapter 5

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember Katherine. She had me fooled. I thought for the first time someone cared about me. I guess I was wrong.

_I shivered as she ran a hand down my chest, and the other tangled in my hair, kissing me._

_I pulled away a little. "Stay with me. I'm better for you than Stefan. Please."_

_She tapped my cheek with her nails. "I can't. I love him too much."_

_ I frowned. "But you love me also."_

_"Why, of course I do!" Katherine exclaimed. "But he's just so much better than you."_

_I felt my heart crack a little. "Oh...yeah I know. Father says that too."_

_"It's nothing personal." She reassured. _

_I looked at her. "I love you, though."_

_She giggled and put a finger to her lips. "Shh. No one can know. It's our little secret."_

_I kissed her finger, moving it away. "Do you love me?"_

_"Only while Stefan is gone." Katherine winked._

_I nodded and forced a smile._

_She leaned in and kissed me and I immediately responded, pulling her close._

_"Katherine. Marry me." I pulled away Just enough to look her in the eyes._

_"I can't." The love of my life said._

_I held my breath to keep from having tears._

_"I'm already marrying your brother."_

_I nodded simply, and she continued touching me and kissing me._

_So I did the same, with a near broken heart. _

_As I was kissing her neck, I murmured, "Please don't go."_

I would write,

Thanks for making me stronger.


	6. Chapter 6

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember Jeremy. He annoyed the hell out of me. But I took care of him and cared for him like a little brother.

Sometimes, I feel like Elena is his mother. And I'm his father. I got to admit, we act like it.

_ "Stop being stupid." I snapped._

_Jeremy glared at me. "I'm not killing anyone. There's no reason to practice on you. If I hurt you Elena will hurt me!"_

_I flicked his ear with supernatural strength and he flailed his hands around his face._

_I looked away for a second and laughed. _

_He fumed. "What?!"_

_I looked at him. "Shut up and listen to me. Aim the stake at me."_

_Jeremy stared at the ground and mumbled, "No."_

_I put my fists up. "Come on. Now's your only chance to beat me up."_

_He stood there for a minute then swung the stake straight at my heart. _

_I grabbed the stake and snapped it in two with my fingers. "Easy, Van Helsing."_

_He scowled at me. "You just said to kill you!"_

_I mocked his facial expression. "Don't take things literally!" _

_He huffed, walking away. "Lena can forget it. I'm not training with you."_

_I followed him. "No. Come on, don't go!" _

_I grabbed his arm and twisted it. _

I would write,

Thank you for being a good pal.


	7. Chapter 7

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember Alaric. Ric was my best friend. I loved him no matter what and we were there for each other, no matter what.

He was the brother I got along with.

_I walked into the Boarding house, drunk._

_At Least I thought I was. Everything was blurry._

_Ric was suddenly at my side, an arm wrapped around me. "Got to at least make it to the couch, buddy."_

_I sat on the couch, and put my head in my hands. _

_He sat across from me. "Elena?"_

_I looked at him, my eyes wide. "Always."_

_"Want to talk about it?" He asked, pouring himself bourbon._

_I shrugged. "Same as always. She doesn't love me."_

_Ric sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. "That's not true, and you know it."_

_I gave him a look._

_He scowled. "Don't screw yourself over a girl."_

_I slammed my drink down on the Table. "What am I supposed to do then?!"_

_Ric sighed and looked at me _

_soft-eyed. "Do something to get her off your mind. Something manly and relaxing."_

_"What? Play golf?" I said sarcastically. _

_He laughed. "Sure, why not?"_

_I sat there for a moment. "I can compel us some girls..."_

_Alaric grinned. "Go for it."_

_I did the eye thing and smirked before standing up. He stood up also._

_I zoomed the the door in a flash and he followed. _

_He jogged to catch up with me. "Hey, wait up! Don't go without me!"_

I would write,

Thanks for being a good brother and friend.


	8. Chapter 8

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember Rose. She was gentle and sweet to me. No one Is. I truly loved her and would've died for her.

"_Hey, my little Rose bud." I smirked._

_She threw a pillow at me as she walked into the room and plopped down on the couch. "Hello demon."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Haha."_

_I got my secret stash of Bourbon and poured us both a glass. She took it gratefully._

_"Thank you." Rose said simply._

_I nodded and took a sip of my drink. "So. What's new?"_

_"I was on Elena duty today; it went fine."_

_I chuckled a little. "That's good. For once it went well."_

_"Hey, I'm learning." She leaned over and kissed him._

_I smiled and did the eye thing. "I know."_

_She hummed and lay her head on my shoulder. _

_"So...how's that werewolf bite?" I pulled her robe down so I could see it._

_"Fine, I think." She replied. _

_It wasn't fine. It was horrifying. I've never seen a werewolf bite like that._

_I sighed. "It doesn't look fine."_

_She nudged me with her shoulder. "It's fine, Damon."_

_I frowned and nodded. "I don't want you to go."_

_She turned and looked at me. "I know."_

I would write,

Thank you for caring, Rose.


	9. Chapter 9

If I had a journal, you know what I would write?

I remember Elena. She's everything. God, she's everything. There are no words to explain.

I love her with all m heart. If I were human, and a different person, I would marry her and give her kids. Get a job and take care of her.

Whatever it is she wants. She's the reason I stayed in Mystic Falls. She's the reason I am who I am.

And now she's gone. Gone like everyone else I love.

_I followed her downstairs. "Okay; wait. Explain? You said you loved me...and you slept with me. You're just...leaving?"_

_Elena sighed and looked back at me. "I love you, Damon. But the whole thing was a mistake. I never meant for it to happen."_

_I shook my head, my heart slowly breaking. "No...you don't love me. If you did you wouldn't be leaving."_

_"That's the thing. I love Stefan more."_

_I winced. "Ouch."_

_Elena sighed and stared at the ground. I took this as my chance and walked over to her, taking her hand in mine. I made her look at me._

_"I know what people think of me. And I know I act like an ass sometimes. But I thought you saw through that. And I wasn't bragging about sleeping with you to seem cool, I did it because I'm proud that a girl like you would want to be with someone like me."_

_She sighed and looked at me with wide doe eyes. "I love you, Damon."_

_"I know. I love you too." I Locked my arms around her waist. "Now how about it? You and me?"_

_She sighed and pulled away, "Damon."_

_I sighed and looked away. "Got it. All about Stefan."_

_She put a hand on my cheek but I moved it away. "Who are you kidding, Lena? Just make a choice already."_

_She sighed and shook her head. _

_"Do you have feelings for me?" I asked simply._

_"I...I don't know. I don't know." She stuttered._

_I hated doing this to her, so I just stopped and hugged her._

_She hugged me back for a second, but then the next second was all over me._

_She locked her lips to mine and wrapped her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. _

_She tugged on my shirt and I headed upstairs quickly. _

_As she kissed down my chest, I ran my fingers through her hair._

_"Please don't go." I mumbled. _

I would write,

Thank you for loving me, Lena.


	10. Chapter 10

I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice if I just stopped talking.

Since Elena died, I haven't gotten out of bed. But today I would.

I got up and went to the little white house.

The door creaked eerily as I went in and as I stepped in I knew, I just knew, she was here.

I saw the black coffin, with rose intricates in the middle of the room.

I went over and opened it.

She looked much better. Her chocolate brown hair looked rich and alive, and her face was smooth and olive. Her cheeks were tinted pink like her eyelids. Her long eyelashes lay on her face.

Elena's tiny, skinny figure fit perfectly in the cushioned box. Caroline had put her in a long white lace dress.

The dress hugged her figure.

I sighed. "Bye, Elena."

I stood there for a moment. I guess, I expected her eyes to open. Stupid, right?

"I never meant to do you wrong." I stroked her cheek. "I love you."

I thought to back to what Rose had said in the dream I gave her.

Wherever Elena is, she's happy. She's with Alaric, and Jenna, and her parents. She's with everyone she loves. She's happy.

That's all I ever wanted. For her to be happy.

I walked outside and took off my ring, tossing it the ground.

My skin began to sizzle and burn.

But I want to be happy with her, too.


End file.
